2020, Was it Really So Bad?

If I were to write a letter to my future self, I’d start by reminding myself that I can get through anything, I am stronger than I think I am, and I’d remind myself that it’s okay to feel vulnerable (for a minute). It’s just a matter of perspective. This year started out rough. From that fateful day that my mother succumbed to an unexpected heart attack in February to COVID-19 and subsequent lockdowns and forced homeschooling, 2020 was full of undesired blows. Yet, all I can think about is that I am blessed.

The loss of a parent (or loved one) is not easy. Life is never really the same, but it doesn’t have to be sad. My mom was the matriarch of the family—the second oldest of ten. She was fierce yet kind, the life of the party and one ah-mazing cook! The thing is, her recipes were all in her head—a pinch of this and a pat of that, she’d say, “it’ll be perfect if you make it with love.” Not so much! Since the lockdowns began, my family and I have challenged ourselves to “cook the way mom did.” Some recipes are more challenging than others. She made it look easy! However, rather than give up, we reached out to relatives in Mexico to learn her recipes the way we think she learned them and then tried to replicate them. We learned through this forced slowdown that a zoom or phone call is a pleasure we overlooked. We learned hilarious stories about my mom and how the apple does not fall far from the tree. We lost a dear loved one but gained stronger family ties, and we love a lot deeper.

For an active family and a mother to a multi-sport kid, the forced locked down and subsequent team sports cancellation were tough. We were used to rushing from club soccer to football practice four times a week and then games on the weekends. Life was rushed until it was not. At first, we were moping and yearned to get out. We had way too much time on our hands and had no clue what to do with it? And then we had an epiphany; we live close to various hiking trails and a short drive from the beach, we can still be outdoors responsibly and do things we never get to do! Since team sports were tabled, we focused on drills and competition to maintain his skills. To this end, my son learned real quick; momma’s got tricks too!

The lockdowns became a blessing academically for my son. Now a fifth-grader, I got the opportunity to learn his challenges versus bad habits by being at home and observing. Over the spring, to save our relationship (and my sanity), I resigned just to get my kid through the semester. However, this year is different. I alerted him to my findings, and he made the appropriate changes. My son has discovered that he is a talented writer. He has found that tests are not a race, and he’s a lot smarter than I was in the fifth grade because common core algebra — yuck!

I think we can all agree that we need a 2020 do-over, but we will not get it. However, if we look a bit deeper, we will find how resilient we really are and how silver-lings exist even in the darkest moments. My letter would end with one sentence, “You’ve got this!”